Fear

we haven't "hung out" for a long time.
but through certain circumstances, we've
ended up in this line, waiting for this ride.
I look up, terrified
by what I see up there
calliope, top 40, and screams
fill my ears
I don't want to be here.
I'm practically shaking
as I stare at this monster
but then your hand is on my shoulder.
I look away from the beast
and into your smiling eyes.
"hey, you're gonna be okay."
I shake my head fervently,
then look up again.
gently, you pull my face away.
"don't look."
you squeeze me into you.
it hits me in this moment.
I watch you, wide-eyed and silent
I remember how I believe in your smile
and I realize that I've missed you.
laughing, you say,
"what are you so afraid of?"
I said I didn't know
at least, not about the ride.
but I know what I am afraid of.

losing you.

-This is old, from last summer, when the band went to Lagoon. My best friend and I were able to spend the day together, something we hadn't done for a very long time.-

<3 = brittany