Ripped Scarves

I sit at the table
drowning in my stagnant thoughts
screaming on the inside
you step lightly, nervously
around the kitchen
opening cupboards, drawers
I look up at you
you turn your eyes
quick
do you want anything to eat?
there's cereal, um, or a sandwich
do you want anything to eat?
you ask
trying to turn the unspoken conversation
to other things
you know I'm feeling sick
you know I can't possibly eat
but still you say
how about ice cream?
I shake my head
still unable to speak
you sit across the table from me now
watching me turn this purple plastic ruler
over and over
inches and centimeters flipping
finally, you say
I wish I could tell you I knew what goes on.
I wish I knew what was wrong.
and I hear myself say
no, it's okay.
but I lay my head down and cry.

-I dunno. I fought with my mom a few weeks ago, and in the aftermath, this is what happened with me and my dad. You know.-

<3 = brittany