Count On My Love

She sits down on the green grass and smiles. Finally, she has been reassured. Finally, someone has replied to her constant "I love you"s. A reply of four words.

"Love you too, sis."

This small confession means everything. Means the world, the solar system, the universe. Means all that blue sky, green grass, brown cow.

"Love you too, sis."

It sums up all the games of BS, all the tickle fights, all the burritos and orange juice, all the ice cream and cheesy fries. Sums up the laughter, the ice, the night crazies, the shampoo, the tummy talk, the whipped cream.

"Love you too, sis."

It's what she's been waiting for. It's what she needs. Maybe her sister doesn't know just how much weight the statement holds, but it's heavy all the same.

She offers a confession of her own to the clean air.

"You can count on my love."

She hopes her sister will take that to heart. She hopes her sister knows that she is serious. She doesn't lie about love.

Love you too, sis.

You can count on my love.

-I dunno. She said it to me, and I was glad. I was real glad.-

<3 = brittany

Ripped Scarves

I sit at the table
drowning in my stagnant thoughts
screaming on the inside
you step lightly, nervously
around the kitchen
opening cupboards, drawers
I look up at you
you turn your eyes
quick
do you want anything to eat?
there's cereal, um, or a sandwich
do you want anything to eat?
you ask
trying to turn the unspoken conversation
to other things
you know I'm feeling sick
you know I can't possibly eat
but still you say
how about ice cream?
I shake my head
still unable to speak
you sit across the table from me now
watching me turn this purple plastic ruler
over and over
inches and centimeters flipping
finally, you say
I wish I could tell you I knew what goes on.
I wish I knew what was wrong.
and I hear myself say
no, it's okay.
but I lay my head down and cry.

-I dunno. I fought with my mom a few weeks ago, and in the aftermath, this is what happened with me and my dad. You know.-

<3 = brittany

This Sister of Mine

bare feet
washed hair
green eyes
honest laugh
that's what I feel
what I smell
what I see
what I hear
when I think of you.

those bare pink toes
make mine yearn for air.
the smell of that hair
makes me think of tubs and head massages.
those green eyes
hold so many memories inside.
that honest laugh
is contagious and sincere.
I love it.
this sensory overload.
this sister of mine.

-I just think of her, and immediately, this is what whips through my head. <3-

<3 = brittany

The Little Things

I don't know what's wrong
you avoid me
you stay away
you don't talk
you're always busy.

I want to be there.
I want to see you.

and lo, there you are
a kind word.
a smile.
a "love tap".
that's all it takes
and I'll be happy again.

the little things
are what I find joy in.
the little things
are what I care about.
the details details details
I don't want them to disappear.

heck, I'm so pathetic.
and I know it.
but let me stay
let me get in the door
let me be there
and I'll be happy.

-It's true. My day could be going horribly, but I'd see one of them, and they'd smile or laugh or nudge me, and I'd be happy. I was like a lost little puppy, waiting for approval from its masters. It still is true.-

<3 = brittany