Chris

I love you
I miss you
happy birthday, bro.
we don't know
where you are.
we haven't been able
to stay in touch,
you're twenty-six today.
but where are you?
I miss you
I want to talk to you
I want to see you
I want to hug you
feel your big brown arms
wrap around me twice
hear your big loving laugh
resonate in my ears
see your big dark eyes
sparkling with a smile.
I love you, bro.
I miss you, bro.
where are you, love?
happy birthday.

-It was my big brother's birthday on November 8th. I miss him so much, and we don't know where he is. I love him.-

<3 - brittany

Dancer

I saw
the tears in your eyes
I heard
the waver in your voice
I felt
the tremble in your hands
I saw
the hurt on your face
and it made me ache too.

all I wanted to do was
wipe away your tears
tell you "everything will be all right"
shake your shoulders
tell you it's only make-believe
tell you it's only pretend
but I couldn't.

I hope and pray
that you will never
have to go through that for real.
I hope you will dance your way
through your whole life
on lithe limbs and able body.
I hope you will dance forever.

-A while ago, we did a dramatic improv in theater. My partner was a dancer, and for the story, she was my dancer daughter who just lost the use of her legs in a car accident, and the accident hadn't even been her fault. In the improv, she actually started to cry. It made me hurt for her. I couldn't even imagine the pain she was feelnig to even imagine such a thing.-

<3 - brittany

Field Show Carousel

I'm being bent and stretched
beyond my breaking point
Farandole and calliope
melding mixing messing
themselves up in my head
I can't think anymore.
all I see is charts and choreography
and every so often an asymptote or two

Jupiter and June
New World Symphony and Stonecutters
Mendelssohn and Clambake
they all sound the same anymore
all jumbled up inside.

I can hardly breathe between the two
and all I get is stale air.
I can't wait 'til it's all over

so I can do it again.

-Ugh. I was so stressed at one point because I would go to the school at six in the morning then not get home until eleven at night. I was so tired and frustrated and snappy that it was horrible, but I loved doing the play. Field show was...eh, but I adored the play. XD-

<3 - brittany

Closer

it seems like I have so many friends
but when it comes right down to it
do I really have any?
sure, there are those that make me laugh
sure, there are those that make me smile
but I can't just call them up and say,
"hey, wanna go play?
hey, wanna hang out?
hey, just wanna talk?"
I haven't really talked to anyone in a while
and it's building up inside.

I wanna talk
I wanna get close
but nobody will get close to me.

or is it me?

do I push you away?

tell me.
help me.
please.

-I don't feel much like this anymore, but for a while there, I did.-

<3 - brittany